I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
