I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
