I'm going to jail i love you
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I want to fling myself into the sun
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
