WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
