Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
