We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
