oh god the rape fog is back!
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
