And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
