..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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