I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
