i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I wish you could order shots online.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
