i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
