I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
