My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
