How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
