I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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