Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
