ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize