Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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