You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
