Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
