I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
