Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
