So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
