You don't have asthma, your pregnant
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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