Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
