god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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