Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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