i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
