Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
