so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
