New low: just hacked my moms facebook
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
