Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She needs sedatives and a leash
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
