do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Randomize
