I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
now i know why i became what i already was.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
