Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
