were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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