Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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