Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
