Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
