tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
