i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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