You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
BRING THE BAGELS
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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