So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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