Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
