Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
