my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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