woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
