Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
