I think I am morally bankrupt
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
