I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
operation harelip BJ is a go
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
my poor anus
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
