Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
