I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
