i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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