You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
