Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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